Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith (Film Review)

It wasn't long after I saw Episode III at the flicks when someone lent me a copy of the bootleg that floated around at the same time. Stupidly, I sat down to watch the thing to take a closer look at the film I thought was 'ok' first time round. First off, the picture quality was shitful, so that don't help.

It's apparent early that Ewan is about as comfortable as he's going to get channeling Sir Alex Guiness (and he does alright). He makes the most of the bad dialogue. His "Nothing too fancy" and "Another happy landing" lines are nicely delivered.

Hayden is only slightly less awkward than the last chapter. I know he's supposed to be a whiny, awkward teenager, but, shesh, c'mon George did it have to be this painful? Still, at least he wakes up from his nightmare in this film in a less masturabatory manner than previously. And is it just me, or have they given him 'helmet hair' in this flick?

Never did like the concept of stormtroopers being clones. Why? Because in the very first Star Wars movie, they have so much individual character. The dialogue is very idiosynchratic. It's like Pulp Fiction. Every other film, they're bland, mono-syllabic clones. I'd say George decided on the clones bit after the first chapter, but he hasn't yet gone back and erased the "Maybe it's another drill" scene.

One of my many problems with these prequels is that there's just too much damned stuff going on. Like most entertainment in this MTV Generation, there's too much information on the screen - our feeble little brains can't cope with it. Look at the originals, until the kitchen sink finale in Return Of The Jedi, every other battle had a lovely simplicity to it. Even George said himself that the first major space battle was a montage sequence. Look at the first space battle in Revenge Of The Sith - you don't know where to look (except for that cool shot where the pilot is visibly seen departing from his exploded ship). Everything looks the same, and it's impossible to keep track of what should be the focus in the scene, Anakin and Obi-Wan. And don't get me started on the Buzz Droids. There are a couple of saving moments in this early battle - I love the opening shot which is a long, long single take following two fighters as they veer across a Star Destroyer then under it revealing the battle below. And some of the big cannon shots are very reminiscent of Master & Commander (ILM effects work also).

George's private little jokes are starting to wear a bit thin by this sixth Star Wars film. "I've got a bad feeling about this" was funny and well-delivered dialogue by Harrison Ford, but is now a feeble attempt at connecting the movies together, and comes across as misguided and ill-informed.

The battle droids are as annoying as the stormtroopers. Again, I liked George's idea that they were never supposed to work, but surely an all-powerful Government and its secret battalion would have learned from their mistakes and improved the voiceboxes and intelligence of their army.

R2's early scene of hijinks in the hangar is one of the few highlights in the first act, but it's a little misguided. It's George (once again) taking his inspirations just a little too far... what was once a subtle homage to Laurel & Hardy becomes a little too literal. Still, it's pretty funny when he shoves the intercom in his locker and Obi-Wan becomes an echo and then spits the oil out creating an inferno for the happless battle droids.

Again, I come back to the character of the thing. The voices, be they alien or humanoid in the original trilogy were so well cast/effected. The were alien weird or gently humourous when they had to be. The voices in these prequels are just, well, stupid. The Nemoidions have to have the worst voices in the history of... well, voices. General Grievous is just as bad. Who ever decided he should have a cold needs to have a long, hard look at themselves. Get him a codral! Speaking of, Grievous is probably the worst baddie they ever came up with. As threatening as an umbrella, he speaks with corny 1920's dialogue and has one of the strangest, obtuse designs I've ever seen. His only moment to shine (brandishing four lightsabers) is cut off (literally) so quickly I don't know why they wasted the rendering time.

There are some nice Emperor moments in the film though. Ian McDiarmid effortlessly continues the performance he begun in Return Of The Jedi, and if you accept his hammy threats, you'll enjoy him here. Hell, his first appearance here is identical to his chair swivel in ROJ. There are some missteps though. For some bizarre reason, I thought the makeup was worse in this film than in ROJ. He looks bloated and pasty, the transformation being particularly bad. I don't know, but I was kinda expecting a proper transformation of some kind. He just kinda was the Emperor suddenly. This scene gets my vote as one of the worst in the film. The acting by everyone is terrible (I would have never cast Sam Jackson in these films, no offense, he's done some great work elsewhere, but is terribly hammy in these films).

Christopher Lee gets a bit of a bum steer in this film. He did in the last film also. Never really utilised the potential of the great man. I think they had way too many villians in these prequels. Who did they have in the originals? Darth Vader. Sure, they had others, like Tarkin, the Emperor and Piett et al, but they were either killed off quickly, introduced late in the game or too minor to worry about. Vader was the through-line, always lurking, always killing/injuring. What did they do in the prequels? Umm, introduce a great baddie in Darth Maul then kill him off and re-introduce the Chancellor/Emperor who does nothing initially. Then introduce Dooku who gets to do little and Jango Fett who does little then gets killed off. Then they introduce Generel Grievous, kill him off then finally the Emperor appears to do his thing (too little, too late). Unless Anakin is the main baddie of these prequels, they missed an opportunity killing off Maul so quickly IMHO. I guess forgot Boba Fett in my rant there - he was great in Empire, but don't forget who hired him. Yet another great villian, unceremoniously killed off too soon.

Did you see the little Millenium Falcon cameo early in the film, after the crash landing? I did. I wonder if Lando was driving? Probably not born yet. It makes me wonder if they'd have been more successful if they'd concentrated more on the Chewbacca raising Han story like they were going to in earlier drafts.

One of the most maligned characters, Jar Jar, does almost nothing in this film, and I can't help but wonder, what was the point of the character? Maybe George did listen to the audience for once? And poor C-3P0. A wonderfully literal bright-spark in the original trilogy, he's reduced to simply stammering "Oh My!" constantly in these prequels, and I think he has two lines of dialogue in this film total. In the worst of times, you couldn't shut him up in the original trilogy.

So in all my whining, does anyone come out of this film unscatched by my razor? Yoda does (almost with flying colors). The effort put into the animation of Yoda in Episodes 2 and 3 (he was puppetereed in Episode 1) is mind-boggling. I swear you think it's a crusty old actor and not 1's and 0's. His meditation scene is a thing of beauty, and it's this scene and one other that I'll mention later, that gives faint hope Lucas still has another good movie in him. Give the Dagobahian an Oscar please! BTW, my only complaint is the dialogue Yoda is forced to spit out. Whoever wrote it (Georgeee!) does not understand the way Yoda talks ("Good relations with the Wookies I have" is not the same speak as "Stopped they must be"). Either that or George disagreed with the way it was done previously or worse, Yoda's language developed as he got older.

Speaking of Wookies, I was disappointed with their end result as well. Their appearance was appreciated, but so brief as to be cuttable. Chewbacca whined twice (I think) and other than the nice moment when he piggybacked Yoda did nothing as heroic as his later efforts. The Tarzan yelp was one of Chewie's worst moments in the original trilogy and to repeat a mistake as tragic as that was unforgivable.

One of the few successful plot elements of this movie is Anakin's turn to the dark side. It's not perfect by any stretch. But Anakin's constantly torn between the concept of doing what's right for the few (ie. himself and Padme) and that of the many (the entire Republic). The Chancellor's arguments (especially at the space opera, hah! George the gagmeister) are compelling and reasonable in their complete evilness, and is one of George's many digs at the tough choices contempary politicians have to make.

The sink hole sequence on Utapau is one of the more successful sequences in the film (General Grievous nothwithstanding). It's the only time you can clearly follow the action, it concentrates on Obi-Wan, the most compelling character in this film, and both Bruce Spence's Tion Medon and Obi-Wan's dragon Boga are lovely creations. The battle between Grievous and Obi-Wan is well laid out and the betrayal of the clone troopers is well handled. Ewan even throws in a nice Guiness line reading, "Hello there".

The scene that I adored and makes me pray for the return of quality filmmaking from Lucas, is a sequence which intercuts between Anakin and Padme after the Order 66 sequence using no dialogue. This is almost too good for these Star Wars films and the gentle camera push-ins, music and cutting completely convey the conflicting emotions of the characters far better than any hammy dialogue could. The Order 66 scenes themselves are also deftly handled, which again, with minimal dialogue and strong visuals, conveys so much emotion.

Natalie Portman is mostly wasted in this film. Her character was developing quite nicely in Attack Of The Clones, but she does very little in this movie, constantly wandering around upset about Annie, upset about her pregnancy, upset about Obi-Wan. She does however, get one of the best lines in this trilogy, the appropriate "This is how liberty dies - to thunderous applause", but it's too little to late.

It may have been Lucas' point, but I felt there wasn't enough taunting in the final duel. The two square off initially, but are mostly silent, until the final moments - which turns into one of the very best scenes of the film, the characters finally coming "full circle" as it were, Obi-Wan finally coming clean about his feeling's towards his 'brother'. No wonder he headed for the hills and no wonder he eventually got executed by his wounded pupil. The "If you're not with me, you're my enemy" line is probably yet another G.W. Bush dig.

The Yoda/Emperor fight is probably the best in the film as it has the best balance of dialogue / acting / effects / action in the whole movie. It's probably not a coincidence that Spielberg designed much of the action for this sequence. You can really feel the hits Yoda takes and the Emperor is probably at his most maniacal here. The opening ceiling, hurling floating platforms and rasing dais all add nice visual elements to the scene.

Another nice moment towards the end is the intercutting between Padme's pregnancy and Anakin's rebirth - it's a nice synchronicity to what's happeninig onscreen, plus the nurse droid's sound effects are cool (for once). I would have liked to know how Padme managed to name the children so quickly though. Don't quite understand it, but the Rebel med-droids from Empire Strikes Back are in the Vader sequence (2-1B and FX-7). Hayden's acting on the table is surprisingly strong and the horrific burn makeup nicely complements it. Unfortunately, this scene goes downhill like a soap box racer once the mask is on. The attempt to emulate a Frankenstein look falls apart at the seams, as Vader stumbles up (aren't you a little short for a Darth Vader?) and forward and howls for Padme in the worst James Earl Jones impression by James Earl Jones I've seen (heard) in a long time. Plus it's hard to tell if the Emperor's happy or pissed (or maybe that's the point).

So there you have it. My 2c on the last ever Star Wars movie. Unless Lucas makes another one. Sincerly, I hope Mr. Lucas moves on to other things. His earlier films, THX-1138 and American Grafitti showed so my promise, and then he diverted his career for twenty odd years for these silly 'movies'. Oh well, at least two of the were great. That's 2 out of 6. That's 4 hours out of 12 hours. Can I get those 8 hours back?